Reviews
Couples are raving about YUM! Here’s what they have to say….
Our experience was beautiful, confronting, challenging, thought provoking and nurturing - Kate
A fantastic, effective and fun way to connect, reconnect or stay connected with your partner. - Justin
I’ve played many different versions of these ‘card games for couples.’ None of them compare to YUM. I absolutely love it - Anthony
How It Works
Your Relationship Survival Kit (When the honeymoon is over, and the real work begins)
We get it. Falling in love is the BEST THING EVER! Your partner can do no wrong and everything is effortlessly sweet. But it’s called the “honeymoon phase” for a reason. It doesn’t last. 3, 6, or 9 months later, maybe a year or two if you’re special, then what?
Relationships are like gardens - left to themselves they can get messy. If you let the weeds go too long, it feels like the only option is to start over. It’s tricky enough when it’s just you and your partner, but throw in kids, in-laws, financial strain, intimacy issues, distraction, work, and pretty soon you’re lost - it’s a jungle out there! We know, because we’re living it - a blended family with 6 kids and twins under 3. Yep. Read more about our story here.
YUM is simple, fun, and powerful. Designed by lovers and therapists, it’s relationship maintenance in a box. It can be intense. You will laugh and you will cry. YUM gives you a way to clear away the weeds in your relationship, keep things open, honest and ever fresh. YUM supports you and your partner to have the best relationship you can have.
Gameplay
It’s pretty darn hard to describe the full experience of playing YUM (check out the reviews), but here’s the setup:
You and your partner find an hour or two. Call it date night, check-in, family meeting, whatever you want. You set up the space - a blanket, a rug and candle, a cup of tea - wine if that’s your thing. You turn off your phones. You take out the cards and the timer. Settle in together. Shuffle the cards, and take turns picking a card at random.
There are 4 types of card: Ask me, Tell me, Deep Sharing,and Body. The cards invite one of you to share on a theme. It’s not a conversation. Once a card is pulled, you set the timer and the clock starts. You get 2,3,4,or 5+ minutes (depending on the card). And here’s the thing… When one of you speaks, the other person has to listen! SHHH! That’s right - no interruptions, no finishing each other’s sentences, none of your usual unhelpful dynamics.
The fourth type of card is BODY. It’s about touch. Not super-sexy touch. Just simple silent things - a short massage, and embrace, a kiss. Because let’s face it, connection is about more than thinking and talking. Sometimes that shoulder rub at the kitchen table is worth more than anything he could say. :-)
We spent years researching, trialing and refining the cards, and we reckon we’ve covered a lot of the essential relationship themes - themes that it pays to revisit regularly. Truth is, the power of the game is only limited by how brave you’re willing to be, how honestly you can share, and how generously you can listen.
Long term relationship is a tough gig, and YUM just might be your relationship’s new best friend.
The YUM Story
In the beginning…
We (Emily and Sean) met studying Gestalt psychotherapy in 2013 and got together in 2014. She had two daughters (3 & 6) and he had two sons (7 & 8). Soon after, we began the blended family adventure and not long after that (2018) got pregnant with twins! Needless to say, there has been some pressure on the relationship - sleep, finances, emotional upheavals, etc.
Tending our relationship…
To support our relationship, we started out having little check-ins in the evening. “How are you feeling?” “What’s up for you?” - that kind of thing. Sometimes if we were feeling generous one of us might give the other a massage. We soon recognised that some topics were harder to broach: asking for things, giving tough feedback, discontentedness, talking about sex. Over time we found that a little structure helped, and we began having turns at offering and asking for various things, and listening in silence.
Over the years our meetings evolved in different ways and helped us to get through some really tricky times. The simple structure helped us deepen in trust, to be honest, and to keep the relationship feeling dynamic.
